


Death before dishonour

by Dr_Scarified



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Futanari, Happy Ending, No Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 16:45:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1394929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Scarified/pseuds/Dr_Scarified
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for ME Kink meme (full prompt within). Ashley Williams wants someone to love. First she needs to find someone she can trust with the whole truth of who she is. But being a soldier in the Alliance Navy has taught her that love isn't always easy for a girl who's packing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ch 1

**Author's Note:**

> Full prompt:
> 
> You know all these stories about Futa!*Insert name here* and the Non!Futa person goes along with it.
> 
> I want to see a little twist on that where the Non!Futa is rather shocked at the revelation that one of the females on the Normandy has a cock and completely freaks out over it and absolutely refuses to go through with the sex (Whether the Non!Futa has a sort of "Prejudice" is up to anon)
> 
> \- Would prefer if the Futa was Ashley and the Non!Futa was Shepard (Either gender is fine).  
> \- Anon can decide if the Futa and Non!Futa can be 'Just Friends' or not.

In any other circumstances, Ashley might have been impressed by how quickly Shepard scrambled off the bed.

“Woah...woah! What the fuck, Ash!?” Jane asked, far less articulate than usual. “Did I just feel...I mean, that wasn't a strap on!” She continued, mind reeling from the surprise.

“Yeah...” Ashley bit her lip and picked at the bedspread. “You remember I said we might not be sexually compatible?”

“I thought you meant you were kinky or something!” Jane threw her hands up. “Not that you're actually a man!”

Ashley clenched her jaw, struggling to bury the hurt. “I'm _not_ a man.” she said forcefully.

Shepard grimaced and started to pace. “But you were born one.” She pushed. “And you haven't had surgery...” flicking her eyes down, then back at the woman's chest, she continued, “...on your lower half, anyway.”

“No.” The gunnery chief shook her head, accepting that she was not going to be cuddling up to Shepard in the near future. “I was born like this – a woman with a penis. My parents didn't want to risk surgery, so when I hit puberty I grew breasts and hips and started having wet dreams.” She shrugged, simplifying years of pain and loneliness.

“And you didn't think to mention this?! You know I'm a lesbian Ash, I'm not bisexual.” Jane ran hands through her hair, clearly trying to tone down her agitation as Williams seemed to pull into herself.

“At first I didn't want to tell you because I didn't even know if it would get to this point. And then...I mean, you've mentioned using vibrators, having girlfriends who liked to strap it on...I figured you liked penetration, and maybe...” she trailed off and gestured vaguely.

“Yeah, penetration not....actual dick!” She shot another disturbed look at Ashley's groin where the tent had mostly gone.

“I understand.” Ashley said, giving up and getting to her feet. “Dr. Chakwas knows, of course, but I'd appreciate it if this remained confidential, Captain.”

The official title stung Jane a little. The two of them had been getting very close and it wasn't often that she had found women in the Alliance that she could be friends with. But having touched the hot, silky hardness that had been tenting her Gunnery Chief's pants, she struggled to even see her as a woman now, and not just like Kaidan – one of the boys.

“I...yeah. I'm sorry Ash.” Jane nodded awkwardly, and left the room.

Ashley dropped back on the bed, and covered her eyes, and tried not to cry. She remembered her Hesse, and decided that in spite of misplaced hope, she would hope again.  
  
 __Since life may summon us at every age_  
 _Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor,_  
 _Be ready bravely and without remorse_  
 _To find new light that old ties cannot give.__

 

By the time Ashley Williams, SpecTRe, returned to the Normandy, it had undergone many changes. So had she. The crew who had known her wondered how she could ever doubt Shepard. Ashley mostly wondered how she could bring herself to trust Shepard again. In spite of her own unrealistic hopes being the only thing Jane had betrayed, it had been a crushing disappointment. No matter how many times Shepard saved her life, every decision the Commander made was framed, in Ashley's eyes, by the question – is it safe to trust? Am I assuming too much?

Her internal voice occasionally accused her of overcompensating, but Joker's wide-eyed stare when she renewed the acquaintance more than made up for the trials that came with heels, glamorous hair and tight clothing.

Vega's unsubtle appraisal of her ass and breasts helped to heal parts of her that could never forget Jane calling her a man.

“Wow, that was amazing!”

And then there was Comms Specialist Traynor.

“I mean, I didn't doubt that you could give James a pasting, seeing as you're a SpecTRe and all, but I really didn't expect you to be able to do it in those heels. I'll admit it – I can barely walk the length of my bunk in heels.” The Oxford graduate cheerfully rambled.

It was a shame. Ashley could vividly imagine Traynor in a little red dress and heels.

They got along quite well, but the more adorable Ashley found Traynor, the more Williams avoided her. Scuttlebutt had it that the genius liked the ladies, and Ash had sworn to herself that she'd stick to bisexual women. They might still react poorly, but it still seemed like she stood a better chance than with anyone else.

After Shepard found her passed out on the floor, she didn't think she could sink any lower. But then EDI spoke up.

“SpecTRe Williams?” The pleasant voice began.

“EDI...you heard what I just told Shepard. Hung over. Feel like death. Call back in an hour.” She mumbled into the floor. There was a blessed pause, but the AI spoke again.

“You once instructed me that I should electrocute you if you 'ever do something that stupid again'.” EDI quoted. Even with her head aching and her stomach turning over, Ashley remembered saying this. It was after one of her more depressed moments reflecting on why she had tried taking Shepard to bed.

“You're going to electrocute me?” Ashley asked, not quite making the connection.

“Last night in the midst of your socialising with James, Communications Specialist Traynor came in. Lt. Vega took his leave and Samantha encouraged you to drink water.”

Ashley let her mind drift, both unable to concentrate and feeling that her participation in this monologue wasn't really required.

“She asked why you had been avoiding her, and you said 'Because I have a cock'.” EDI explained. “I am not able to electrocute you, SpecTRe Williams, but thought reminding you of these events may be beneficial.”

“Oh fuck.” Ashley groaned. She fell asleep again wondering what the hell to do.

Three hours later, the newest SpecTRe sat bolt upright. “Oh _fuck_.” She scrambled to go have a shower, make herself decent and apologise to Traynor - then Shepard.


	2. Ch 2

When there was a knock at the door to her quarters, Ashley knew it was probably Samantha. She had asked EDI to pass on a message requesting her presence, but still didn't know exactly how the hell she was going to explain – or just how much apologising would be needed. 

“Come in.” She spoke up, and the door slid open to reveal the Comms Specialist. 

“Hullo Ash.” She smiled. “Feeling better?” She walked in and dropped down on the coach. 

“Sam...I'm so sorry.” Williams rubbed the back of her neck, worrying that she maybe should have gone for the full catsuit and heels rather than hoodie and casual pants she was wearing. She was definitely more comfortable – but also less confident. 

“What for?” Traynor asked, cocking her head. 

“Avoiding you.” Ashley admitted. “EDI told me you asked about it last night while I was trashed.” 

“Yes, I...was worried I may have done something wrong. I suppose I made it a bit too obvious that I'm attracted to you.” The genius looked down. 

“No, you haven't done anything wrong. I didn't realise actually.” Williams' heart sank at knowing she was managing to ruin another friendship. 

“You didn't? Then why have you been avoiding me?” Traynor asked, sounding confused and a little more upset. 

“Apparently I told you last night.” Ash waited for her to understand. 

“What? You just said that you had a cock! What's that supposed to mean?” Sam said a little louder, getting frustrated with all the cryptic responses. 

“It means that I was born a woman with a penis.” Ashley explained, trying hard not to let tears well up in anticipation of where this was going to end, again. 

“Oh. Oh!...wow.” Samantha reacted, mulling it over. “Really? Huh.” She was silent a bit longer as she tried to take it all in. 

“So you see,” the SpecTRe prompted, wanting to get it over with, “why I was avoiding you.” 

“Well no.” Traynor frowned thoughtfully. “I mean, it's amazing, and I'm honoured that you told me – but I don't get how it's relevant.”

“Sam – you're a lesbian.” 

“True.” The colonist nodded decisively. “So? There are plenty of people with penises on this ship, and they don't avoid me.” 

“Well they might if they were attracted to you and wanted to honour your sexuality.” Ash answered, a little annoyed at having to spell this out. 

“You like me?” Sam lit up. 

“Of course I do. You're my friend, and you're gorgeous. But you're a lesbian, and --”

“And you're a woman that I'm attracted to, and would like to date.” Sam interrupted. Ashley looked miserable. 

“Sam, I'm really grateful that you're taking this so well, but it isn't something you can just ignore. I can't just date someone without any possibility of ever becoming sexually intimate, I want the whole works.” Ashley explained, refusing to compromise out of desperate loneliness.

Samantha sighed and stood up in front of Ashley, taking a gentle hold of her face. “You're not listening to me Ash.” She moved to sit straddled over the SpecTRe's lap. “Whether your penis is something that you loathe and haven't gotten around to surgery yet, or if it feels like a normal part of you that everyone else has the problem with – I will fully support you and find you sexually arousing. I wish to engage in a romantic and sexual relationship with you. Does that clear things up?” She gazed into the stunned soldier's eyes. 

“Are...are you sure? You're not going to...try it and find out you hate it, or...” She worried. 

“I dated a transsexual woman for a year once. She dumped me a few months after her reassignment surgery. It was complicated, but...I guess she never really believed that I saw her as a woman, regardless of her physical status. She met a guy in one of her lectures and told me she'd found her future with someone who would only ever see her as a beautiful woman.” Sam cleared her throat, suddenly realising that it was a little early to be discussing exes. “Anyway, my point is that I always found the sex satisfying, regardless of how we chose to do it. Sometimes she was able and willing to use her penis but other times because she hated how it made her feel, or because of her hormones, we made love other ways. I'm not going to suddenly discover that I hate your body or that I can't live without certain aspects of it, okay?” 

Ashley's mouth had gone dry and her heart was thumping at the sudden realisation that she might actually have a chance at love with the adorable geek. She was frozen with fear, but Samantha just smiled, and leaned in to kiss her - soft and sweet. 

"I have worked out a way to electrocute you." EDI announced. "Do you still require this?" 

It took Ashley a few moments to break away from Sam, but when she did she was grinning ear to ear. 

"No, thank you EDI." She stroked a hand through Sam's dark hair and marveled at being able to touch someone who knew the truth about her. "This is definitely the smartest thing I have ever done."


End file.
